so were in this world do i begin..lol so umm this past weekend d. howell went to va for a ex girlfriends graduation ummm well yea sounds even wrong to write?? right??? i mean at first i was very very upset bout it but then i came to see that he is with me and if he WANTED to be with her he would and plus i got mad trust for him ya.. umm but something inside of me told me know don't let him go its not right..umm but i ignored my feeling and rocked with the trust thing.. cool no problem FRIDAY night was cool didn't to much stress it because it was late and plus i had to get up early that morning and i knew he had to....but come SATURDAY he start jumping stupid and that one thing i'm not going to put up with is someone who wants to change faces just cause they with other people it just don't work like that in my book it don't FLY.. anyway that morning we was good no problems but like i said that night he jumped pure stupid he so steady worrying bout what i'm doing he failed to look at himself in the mirror and wipe his own hands cleans before he wanted me to wipe mine... i knew he was at party but i do everything i do for a reason to get what i need to know in every situation no matter what the out come is because at the end of the day i STAND ALONE ya know..... when i called he aint answer cool and hell yea i called a lot because thats my bf i call his phone when i want and how ever many times i want ya digg... anyway so i'm texting he not texting back but he cant twitter cool beans i said got something for that ass so i twittered what i could have been doing..but in really i wasn't doing shit but wasting my time with a person who always has shit to say bout trust and i wouldn't do this and that but in the long run he really needs to take his own advice for real.. so he sends me this really sweet text at like for something in the morning i read it when i got up and was like wtf he done done...lol so i go snooping hell anything that pertains to my bf is my business WHY because he is my business...lol so SUNDAY i read on j girl page that they was hugged up that kinda pissed me off a little bit... but on the flip side if i wasn't snooping i would of found out right..... WRONG!!!!! lol anyway i had this bad ass feeling in my chest that something was up and i knew he wouldn't tell me right off bat so i had to JUMP ghetto and stupid for a split second...lol so out of myself...lol.. so i called him at 7:30 and yes i was at work but didn't care he answer talking bout ummm it was like that it wasn't like that..BASICALLY in so many words saying she over exaggerating how they was laying so i'm pissed cause apart of me knew he was lying umm but yea alright whatever..... so he sends me texts talking bout he LOVE me and blah blah blah blah...really i'm not trying to hear no.....lol anyway so cool j girl around so he acting like he scared to talk around her and her family nigga who the fuck are they.. they don't have shit to do with us YOU  do so get your shit together quick...so he FINALLY makes it back home to me lol when he walks through my door i got JOKES right off bat because thats what type of person i am i jokes bout shit that bothers me deeply.... so i can tell in his face something just isnt right but what is it.. so i KISS him not knowing were is dirty lips been lol...but i TRUST him so NO PRBLEM...WRONG AGAIN!!! so we get to talking and he is telling me how he feel bad that she hurting people might think why the fuck is this nigga telling his GIRL bout another BITCH.. WHY you may ask because i asked we dropped the boyfriend and girlfriend names and looked at each other as FRIENDS thats what makes our relationship so strong and  special we are LOVERS AND FRIENDS and that hard as hell to come by... anyways so just was we was talking she texted him saying she cant handle this and that cool i UNDERSTANd her pain been there don't that ya know.... great we talk for a good min and he say nah aint nothing happen he STEADY saying that like i actually believe him..lol i'm not STUPID far from it ya know......anyway i just got this feeling that something aint right its not....so MONDAY i wont let it go i steady asked the same THREE questions.... THEN here come TUESDAY i ask the SAME questions then YESTERDAY(WENESDAY) i asked the SAME questions..lol but was weird i dreamed the strangest dream bout them...ummm told him bout it he aint say nothing i told him whatever he did i FORGIVE HIM right??? ummm not fully......so when he finally got back to my house i say open and honest he said alright J GIRL kissed me but i DIDNT kiss her back... i said what..oh cool then he say BUT i when we was about to LEAVE i GAVE her a GOODBYE kiss nigga you did WHAT!!!! lol i wasn't mad because i already knew it was something even if it was the smallest thing.. umm i tell ya boi....... i said cool and let it go for a min i ACTED LIKE wasn't shit wrong oh i forgot something WAIT!!! He said he wasn't like that it wasn't..bitch how the hell was it ya know......any when we got in the car and my sister went in the store i snapped WHY because you let another BITCH but her DIRTY ASS LIPS on your lips she been talking bout having sex with another guy YOU DONT KNOW WHERE HER lips been or where that dude dick been ya know.. ewww then you going to kiss her bye WTF your brain must have lost its way for a sec cause for MOMENT you THOUGHT the hoe was me.. wtf was you thinking.. ya know... i was HOT!!!! yea yea yea i was hurt because i gave him my TRUST and he fucked it up over a girl who he NOT even with and don't wanna be with... I TELL YA BOI... i guess he THINK i need him to much WRONG YET AGAIN....lol like i say i got me don't worry bout that... lol but umm yea i feel a lot of ways but i'm not a loser so imma TRY and stick this out i mean i'm not that mad him just disappointed because he lied don't lie be honest..lol anyway PLEASE DONT THINK JUST BECAUSE WE HAD A MINOR SLIP UP WE HAVING PROBLEMS AND WE GOING TO TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT..NAH IM IN IT TO THE END OR UNTIL WE BOTH AGREE THAT WE HAVE LEARNED WHATEVER IT IS THAT WE HAD TO LEARN FROM EACH OTHER HAS BEEN TAUGHT TO US.. THATS DEEP LOL ANYWAY WE GOOD ITS NOTHING GOOD COMMUNICATION AND SOME DAYS WITH OUT ME OR SEX CANT FIX..LOL I GOTTA GIVE HIM A DOSE OF WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOT TO HAVE ME AROUND IN HIS LIFE.. LEAVE HIM STANDING OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN NOT LONG BUT JUST LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM SICK LIKE A 24 HOUR BUG NOT A LONG TERM COUGH OR SNEEZE...LOL WITH THAT SAID IM OUT AND MY HEART IS ALMOST CLEAR.. ITS 5:30 IN TH AM GOTTA BE TO WORK AT 7 LOL BUT ALEAST I GOT SOMETHINGS OFF MY CHEST DONT CARE WHO READ OR HOW THEY TAKE IT... ITS HOW I FEEL AND HEY SAY WHAT U LIKE ITS NOT GOING TO CHANGE A DAMN THING IN THE END I MAY BE UNDER BUT WATCH ME COME OUT SWINGING LIKEA PRO BOXER...LOL IM CRAZY...

as u can tell i really feel like writing right now don't know why just do lol anyways so i think i have been a very laid back cool person for the most part ya know and i'm trying to let everything go and be what it is but damn it its hard and well i got a lot i need to get off my chest.. here we go..lol well first and foremost i really need to find a new job i cant take these people any more they are very just ugh...lol i mean i love the residents and they love me{ i mean who don't} but the admin.. they are some complete assholes and i don't even think thats the word for it i mean they walk around like they GOD and nobody can touch them...last time i checked no one should ever compare themselves to GOD because you will never come close..lol but so true.. they be talking to people like they dirt and well notice i said to people not me cause i don't stand for that i mean we all grown and imma need for them to come at me like the adults they say they are ya know..lol they like always ride you bout dumb shit because they have nothing else to do.. they can pump the brakes because whenever i clock in i do my job from start to finish ya dig lol so point blank and simple they need to re check how they come at people or hell they not going to have anybody..lol its kinda lonely being in a one mans world...ya know...

NEXT well its SIMPLE MINDED people oh my gosh i mean really how childish can you be to complain over stupid stuff that doesn't even make since oh my gosh..lol anyway i feel like people honestly get besides themselves when they feel like they have the upper hand i really do but what the fail to see is not everything is what it seems ya know... like ugh people get over it...its not that deep..lol..

NEXT so i got this "girl" who is really annoying me and i gotta say what i feel on it cause damn thats the whole purpose of this site right right..lol so it started back in i guess hell i dont know..lol she thought i was trying to be funny because of what i would write but in all truth nah she didn't and still doesn't matter to me when i write i write what i want and how i feel ya know i mean i can be funny and you know it when i am trying to be ya know but all this unneeded stuff is over a boy named d.a.h lol i mean don't get me wrong that is my baby and all but damn wtf... ya know i understand that he hurt this girl by breaking her heart but i had nothing to do with that to keep it real me and him wasn't even suppose to be together but we are and its nothing i am going to do bout it...i mean ya know EVERY FEMALE HAS WALKED THE SAME PATH JUST DIFFERENT TIME FRAME MAYBE A DIFFERENT SITUATION i know for a fact that if the roles was switched she would of did the same thing  IF THE ROLES WAS SWITCHED I WOULDNT OF BEEN SLIPPING MY BF WOULD NOT HAVE A NEED TO EVEN THINK ABOUT ANOTHER BITCH BECAUSE I WOULD BE ON MY JOB YA DIGG i mean females fail to see that you cant get mad at the next chick because you not on your job damn you never miss you water till the well runs dy right...anyway what really got under my skin was when she bought his mama into this FOR WHAT CHICK ya know his mama didn't have anything to do with it i'm sorry she got hurt i really am {have been here done that and still keeping it moving}but i'm not dating his mama i'm not dating my mama i'm not dating anybody BUT HIM i really just didn't like that i felt like she was trying to get his mother to see a different person when in reality she didn't even know me ya dig.. but anyway then came the phone calls and wanting to talk all the time and when they did talk it was hahahahah i talked to him he said that he said this but damn IF HE WANTED TO BE WITH YOU HE WOULD RIGHT it wouldn't be any excuses no nothing he would be with YOU!!! yea keeping it G hell yea i went on her page to see what was up and what was this and what was that but after a while it got old why because i'm letting and outsider in and its messing up me and him and well that just aint cool ya dig...umm yea she still calls and texts and goes through these temper tantrums i guess you can say but like i tell dre sometimes you gotta break a female in order for them to rise above it all ya know... i have NO PROBLEM with them TALKING TEXTING OR EVEN HANGING OUT why might you ask because he is mine and i am his and WELL WE GOT THAT TRUST and at the end of the day i'm WERE HE WANNA BE if he didn't the same way he entered he can leave ya know...just like the other night she text him talking bout well it seems you only wanna talk to me when SHE is not around i was like what tell her we together now and you talking to her he said that and i be damned she flipped out thats fucked up how you going to throw that in my face yo don't ever have to worry bout me calling or texting you again wtf he was just saying i'm with jazz now and i'm talking to you so talk ya know.. I TELL YA BOI..LOL hello we are always together so text or call it i could care less just don't cross the disrespect line and everything well be gravy ya dig so WITH THAT SAID IM SAYING DAMN I SHOULDNT EVEN LET THIS AFFECT ME OR EVEN GET THIS FAR AY IT IS  WHAT IS RIGHT!!! NEXT so the BIG 19 is MAY the 6th and ya girl can not wait i'm just so excited because hey i lived to see this day and well i have someone special to enjoy it with my mama is talking bout paying for us to go to the beach yayayayaya we need a get way just the to of us dag JUST ME AND YOU...LOL well my fingers hurt so j.cole is out peace and love

As you can tell from the head line i am JASMA NICOLE.. the one and only i can not be copied because i am me and NO ONE AND I DO MEAN NO ONE CAN CHANGE THAT... dont JUDGE ME just because im young..being young does not mean you are dumb.... my eyes have witnessed more than they could handle and my ears have penatraited everything from the loudest nosie to the smallest sound and still they have survived... Through my walk of life i have learned that its always somebody who is going to dislike for some reason my answer to them is LOVE ME OR HATE ME thats you i will remain Jasma Nicole and being her your assumptions and thoughts mean nothing to me there just words that eventually fade...... Even though there are times when i seem like im losing deep on the inside im fighting hard and in the end i will always come out on top WITH MY HEAD HELD HIGH AND A SMILE THAT NEVER ENDS BECAUSE I AM JASMA NICOLE MARTIN♥